ER

Reasons to go to the ER:

Meet your friends and neighbors in triage

ER emblem

Image via Wikipedia

Chest pain

Back pain

Neck pain

Pain in the behind

Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea

Give us some constirpation

Shortness of breath, no breath

Asthma, inhaler

Near drowning

Too much drugs, OD

Need drugs, for pain or recreation

Motor vehicle accident

Bicycle accident

Motorcycle accident

ATV accident

Rash, road rash

Spider bite, cat bite

Dog bite, mosquito bite

Snake bite, scorpion bite

Falls, winter, spring, summer

Toothache, double vision

Female problems

Male problems

Email problems

No internet connection

Four hour erection.

If you are admitted | What I learned working in an ER

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Hospital

Hospital sign

Image via Wikipedia

Where the elite meet to greet

The sick

Where the sick come to be cured

Or to meet their Maker

Where health care professionals come

To practice makes perfect

Realm of initials

ER, OR, RR, RR Xing

Railroad crossing

Flashing lights

OT and PT

Tea and crumpets anyone?

GI tract, GI lab

Enlisted men over here

Officers over there

Oncology, radiology, TV-ology

Nuc-med, stress, stress testing

Cardiology

Must you be a card to

Work in cardiology?

Lab tests, EEG, EKG

Urine specimens, blood draws

This won’t hurt, much, me

You maybe

Hold still, sit still, stand still

Jog in place

DC, discharge home or elsewhere

The bills trickle or flood in

How much?

You’ve got to be kidding.

What I learned working in a hospital.