Donald Trump carries his magic egg everywhere with him. It resembles a Fabergé egg and was given to him by his good friend Vlad “the impaler” Putin. It contains a cell phone and keeps track of his vital signs. It also allows the Kremlin to locate Trump within three feet and record every word and action verbally and pictorially with its three built-in cameras. It also allows Putin, Trump’s handler in the Kremlin, to put suggestions in Trump’s ear whenever questions are asked that Trump can’t answer. It was Putin’s idea to label all criticism of Trump and Russia as fake news.
Trump must go.