The 12 months of campaign season

A christmas tree.

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In the first month of campaign season
the GOP sent to me:
a Republican nominee standing on the stump of a pear tree.

In the second month of campaign season
the GOP sent to me:
2 boxes Cuban cigars
and a Republican nominee standing on the stump of a pear tree.

In the third of month of campaign season
the GOP sent to me:
3 Joes* campaigning
2 boxes Cuban cigars
and a Republican nominee standing on the stump of a pear tree.

In the fourth of month of campaign season
the GOP sent to me:
4 bottles French wine (@$350 per)
3 Joes campaigning
2 boxes Cuban cigars
and a Republican nominee standing on the stump of a pear tree.

In the fifth of month of campaign season
the GOP sent to me:
5 gold rings, from Tiffany’s
4 bottles French wine
3 Joes campaigning
2 boxes Cuban cigars
and a Republican nominee standing on the stump of a pear tree.

In the sixth of month of campaign season
the GOP sent to me:
6 Wall Street bailout beneficiaries
5 gold rings, from Tiffany’s
4 bottles French wine
3 Joes campaigning
2 boxes Cuban cigars
and a Republican nominee standing on the stump of a pear tree.

In the seventh month of campaign season
the GOP sent to me:
7 media consultants consulting
6 Wall Street bailout beneficiaries
5 golden rings, from Tiffany’s
4 bottles French wine
3 Joes campaigning
2 boxes Cuban cigars
and a Republican nominee standing on the stump of a pear tree.

In the eighth month of campaign season
the GOP sent to me:
8 spinmeisters spinning
7 media consultants consulting
6 Wall Street bailout beneficiaries
5 golden rings, from Tiffany’s
4 bottles French wine
3 Joes campaigning
2 boxes Cuban cigars
and a Republican nominee standing on the stump of a pear tree.

In the ninth month of campaign season
the GOP sent to me:
9 pollsters polling
8 spinmeisters spinning
7 media consultants consulting
6 Wall Street bailout beneficiaries
5 golden rings, from Tiffany’s
4 bottles French wine
3 Joes campaigning
2 boxes Cuban cigars
and a Republican nominee standing on the stump of a pear tree.

In the tenth month of campaign season
the GOP sent to me:
10 bankers banking on being too big to fail
9 pollsters polling
8 spinmeisters spinning
7 media consultants consulting
6 Wall Street bailout beneficiaries
5 golden rings, from Tiffany’s
4 bottles French wine
3 Joes campaigning
2 boxes Cuban cigars
and a Republican nominee standing on the stump of a pear tree.

In the eleventh month of campaign season
the GOP sent to me:
11 lobbyists lobbying
10 bankers banking on being too big to fail
9 pollsters polling
8 spinmeisters spinning
7 media consultants consulting
6 Wall Street bailout beneficiaries
5 golden rings, from Tiffany’s
4 bottles French wine
3 Joes campaigning
2 boxes Cuban cigars
and a Republican nominee standing on the stump of a pear tree.

In the twelfth month of campaign season
the GOP sent to me:
12 billionaires buying votes, influence and power
11 lobbyists lobbying
10 bankers banking on being too big to fail
9 pollsters polling
8 spinmeisters spinning
7 media consultants consulting
6 Wall Street bailout beneficiaries
5 golden rings, from Tiffany’s
4 bottles French wine
3 Joes campaigning
2 boxes Cuban cigars
and a Republican nominee standing on the stump of a pear tree.

*Joe the plumber, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Joe Miller of Alaska